In America:
The weak Canadian dollar means
less Canadian travelers causing distress within the tourist industry.
In Canada:
The weak Canadian dollar means
more American travelers causing distress within general public.
In America:
Carrying the flag at the Olympics
is a cherished, once in a lifetime honour.
In Canada:
Carrying the flag at the Olympics
is a lame excuse for finishing fourth in the moguls.
In Canada:
We say; "I'm putting on my
running shoes."
In America:
They say; "I got shot for my
sneakers."
In America:
Amount of prime numbers between 8
and 1 is 1.
In Canada:
Amount of Prime Network viewers
between 8 and 11 is 1
In Canada:
Frustrations over Olympic hockey
loss will be taken out on Finland in bronze medal game.
In America:
Frustrations over Olympic hockey
loss will be taken out on Iraq.
In America:
Late night TV saturated with talk
shows.
In Canada:
This is it so yuk it up!
In America:
76 year old Senator John Glenn
about to experience weightlessness.
In Canada:
73 year old Senator Andrew
Thompson about to experience joblessness.
In America:
Army troops warned to wear gas
masks when in the Gulf.
In Canada:
Army troops warned to wear gas
masks when partying with Ross Rebagliati's friends.
In America:
'69 referred to as the
"summer of love".
In Canada:
69 referred to as "dizzying
heights for the dollar".
In Canada:
Forests endangered by over-logging
In America:
Forests endangered by celebrities
on skis.
In America:
0prah Winfrey affects cattle
industry with simple remark "I'll never eat another hamburger."
In Canada:
Camilla Scott can't get seated at
a restaurant with simple remark "I'm Camilla Scott."
In America:
Biathlon consists of skiing and
shooting .
In Canada:
Biathlon consists of snowmobiling
and swimming .
In America:
Dr. Kevorkian puts people to
sleep.
In Canada:
We have the Prime Network.
In Canada:
The nation's leader exposes
himself to controversy while going abroad after a weather crisis.
In America:
The nation's leader weathers
controversial crisis exposing himself while going after a broad.
In America:
More than one famous woman named
Barbara.
In Canada:
More than one famous woman named
Luba.
In Canada:
Bright young actors come together
for fine dramas on CBC and CTV.
In America:
Bright young actors come together
for prison production of Hamlet.
In America:
Tired and poor invited by Statue
of Liberty.
In Canada:
Tired and poor invited by Czech
television.
In Canada:
Success of Front Page Challenge
difficult to explain.
In America:
Success of Paul Reiser difficult
to explain.
In America:
Many welfare recipients come from
Mexico.
In Canada:
Biggest welfare recipient lives in
Mexico.
In America:
"National Enquirer"
bought by millions who want the latest celebrity gossip.
In Canada:
"Frank" magazine bought
by occasional, unsuspecting guy named Frank.
In America:
Carved the image of 4 presidents
into the side of a mountain.
In Canada:
A mountain in the Kootenays
happens to look like Mlironey.
In Canada:
Group of kids in hockey sweaters
are on their way to practice.
In America:
Group of kids in hockey sweaters
are on their way to crack house.
In America:
Torn apart in 1860s by bloody
civil war.
In Canada:
Torn apart in 1994 by a 'Combat
Des Clips' between Mitsou and Moist
In Canada:
Lake Ontario pristine and clear
In America:
Lake Ontario sludge-filled
cesspool
In America:
People wait 2 years for tickets to
see hottest Broadway musicals.
In Canada:
People wait 2 years in emergency
room to see a doctor.
In America:
Top military officials can be
found at the Pentagon.
In Canada:
Top military officials can be
found on the witness stand.
In America:
President Clinton teases his dog
by holding out piece of steak and then eating it himself.
In Canada:
Prime Minister Chretien teases
Paul Martin by drafting resignation letters and then throwing them out.
In America:
When a man assaults a total
stranger in public, he's a deranged lunatic.
In Canada:
He's the Prime Minister.
In Canada:
Not proud of the fact that we have
more than one famous woman named Luba.
In America:
Not proud of the fact that more
than one famous person skiied into a tree.
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